Here is my devilicious bandwagon story. Well the first part of it.

Phantom Limbs and Mind Control (Chapter 1)

It was a dreary day in New York City. The rain came down on the populous in downpours, never letting up. The faint rumblings of thunder and lightning can be heard in the distance. Every way you looked, north, south, east, and west, people were holding umbrellas and power-walking to their destination. It seems like a normal, rainy, day in Manhattan, right? Actually, yes it was rather normal. Sorry to be so anti-climactic.

Now, I shall go into the life of one person I particular. This person is suffering greatly on this horrid day: Zach Downey. He is a little different than you and I. Well, not so much different as in personality, but rather, in appearance; more specifically lack there of. Zach Downey is an amputee. Many cold winters ago, Zach, like many other New Yorkers, went upstate for a long weekend. He thought he could get away from the hustle and bustle of the city, and relax. He was dead wrong. Dead wrong like a motherfucker.

Zach went outside one day to look at the mountain dew, mystified like all of the other drones living in his small down. Amazed at the non-significant phenomena, Zach didn't pay attention to the fact that there was an abnormally large bear roaming around in his kitchen. Apparently dew has that effect on you. After wasting three minutes staring at the morning dew, Zach waltzed back into his house, obviously not noticing the bear raiding his refrigerator. Then, Zach walked into the kitchen.

His first reaction to said bear was one similar to what I'm about to write, right about now, "I've been warned about bears for quite some time. I've never actually thought I'd come face to face with such a vile creature. However, I shall valiantly fight this beast." O.K, maybe he didn't say anything even closely related to the above statement, but it describe his feelings rather well, if I do say so myself. To make a long story so short that it can fit in the second part of this sentence, Zach, idiotically, tried to fight the bear, and the bear badly damaged his right arm.

To be honest, damaged isn't the word to use. Rather to correct term would be "bitten-off", but this is a kid-friendly story right? Actually no, but it's the principle of the idea which makes me forget why I typed that last sentence. Anyway, this is the final sentence of the segue paragraph.

Zach became quite troubled over the loss of his right arm, and can you imagine living without a limb? Well, I sure as hell can, but we should feel sorry for Zach, because an imaginary character has feelings. Zach lost his girlfriend; apparently missing limbs aren't sexy. He also lost his job, because in some alternate universe a surgeon requires both of his arms. Who actually knew that? Along with these rather big losses, Zach could not support himself, and resorted to the lost art of conning tourists. Simple ball in cup games and card tricks were two of the two games included in Zach repertoire. However, when the next paragraph begins, something really friggin' weird happens.